Dear male generation, a woman can be successful and still be respectful and responsible – Huzeima Mahamadu

Wednesday night up until Thursday, social media was buzzing and fuming in flames over an interview Ace broadcaster and journalist Christian Amanpour had with Moesha Boduong, an actress living in Ghana. Thousands condemned her regarding her submissions during the interview as she made it clear that she’s a “MISTRESSES FOR FINANCIAL GAINS “

Though Moesha Boduong`s submission about her relations for financial gains is unfortunate and a fall to gender equity, it is the hard truth in my opinion as such acts do exist.

Every participant in the act is responsible for such situations, I mean both men and the women engaged in such business arrangements, which is sad. However, everyone has the will and power to say no and therefore I blame the female generation involved, for accepting and agreeing to live their lives as sex objects for money instead of working hard and living within their means and the men for reducing their value to that of a money bank.

It is true that in Ghana some men feel like money is the only thing women want from them and therefore if you have the money to provide anything a woman wants, then you will have her acting to your every whim and providing you with sex anytime you ask for it.

Some men disrespect their mothers, aunts, wives and sisters to an extent of reducing a girl to a sex object just because he can buy a phone for her and probably motorbike or a car.

How will you feel when your daughter or sister is the recipient, the one sleeping with a man for money without having a say in the relationship. A professor once told me that men are naturally selfish and will do anything for their own gain.

However, in my experience I have met selfless men including that professor and others who will help any person irrespective of the gender because they want to promote the human generation and make the world a better place.

Yes, there are still men out there who respect women and believe in their capabilities, they appreciate the fact that an independent woman is a better woman of substance. Any man who understands the terms “no one is promised tomorrow and shared responsibility” will strive for the wife to be independent.

If you want a housewife because you want to be able to control her using money, then it is your lost and I pray you do not die early. But who is promised tomorrow, and what happens to your housewife and children when you die.

That is why a lot of families suffer after the demise of the man, for he did not prepare the family to be independent and hence they must do anything to survive, thus increasing the vices we are fighting against.

Not only death, what about if you loose your job or for a particular reason you cannot work again, and yet as the head of the family you are the only income earner in the family, what is next?

The possibilities are countless and hence the need to ensure your wife is independent financially. Support her to succeed and still perform your responsibilities as a man and head of the family, and you will have a better family life.

To my fellow women, if you want to be respected then you must learn to respect yourself. To reduce yourself to a sex object only for financial gain is disrespectful to the female generation. If you want to be called a lady then make sure you act like one.

A lady is someone who works hard to meet her material needs or live within her means. She is with a man because she loves the man and wants a future with him and will still be with the man even if the man has nothing to offer her.

Her man providing everything for her is a complement of the love they share and not the reason for the relationship. It is time for girls to know that their boyfriends are not banks and it is wrong to always ask for money from them.

A relationship is not a business transaction and this has to stop. If you demand money from a boy, then he will also demands sex, for there is no free lunch. Please, dear girls and women, I know money is key to survival but you have to learn to earn it yourself.

Be prepared to work harder to meet your needs and do not rely solely on a man to meet all your financial demands. A husband is responsible for the wife and kids in the family, but the wife can also support the husband to make the home and family better. A wife and a husband complements each other in every aspect of life.

They are a team and must work together to survive. Some women and their children suffer at the demise of a man because the woman has never worked to survive on her own.

Let us start thinking about the future we want for ourselves and families in everything we do. If you want to be respected and treated as such, then learn to earn it.

There are some ladies who work hard to make their own money and even support their families. Are they not women? Some women are those working to take care of their children and husbands.

Go to the market centres in every region and community in Ghana to see the hard work of women in order to provide for themselves and their families. If they can do it, what prevents you from also doing something meaningful with your life.

How can a man respect and treat you as human if you are willing to reduce yourself to a sex object? For gender equity to see the light of day in Ghana, the female generation has to work on themselves first. Mothers must teach their daughters to go to school and pursue the professions they love in order to become responsible citizens.

Girls must see themselves as human-beings willing and ready to help make the world a better place. The female generation must learn to love, respect and appreciate themselves by using more of their brains then their bodies to get what they want.

Dear male generation, a woman can be successful and still be respectful and responsible. If you always think a successful woman will not respect her husband, does that mean successful men do not respect their wives?

Respect and responsibilities in marriage is not about how successful a spouse is, but how two people are ready to make sacrifices to see each other happy. How two people love and appreciate each other`s efforts and cannot imagine life without each other.

Men and women should both learn to treat each other as human-beings. Before you say or do something to someone consider yourself at the receiving end and see if you will like it. If you do not, then do not say or do it to another person irrespective of the gender.

By Huzeima Mahamadu
Educationalist and Gender Advocate

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